Dear Daughter

While you aren’t born yet to me, I want you to know that I dread your birth into a world as fallen as ours. Your hope is only in Christ. Your safety is only in God’s hands. I can only instruct and protect you as much as you allow me. It is the same with God too. I am 25 years old when I write this. December 23 2015. Almost Christmas. Each Christmas I see the world more corrupt than the Christmas before.

While you read this, I only beg that you read this opinion of mine with an open mind. I love you. But you really need to hear me out on this.

Three years ago, there was a rape in India of “Nirbhaya”. The girl was raped in the most gruesome of ways. I have never read anything more gruesome. The crucifixion of Christ comes the closest to this in “gruesome”. I believe that rape is terrible. And the rapists  must be punished. I am no one to judge what the punishment must be for this crime although I earnestly believe that death must be served, even to the juvenile involved in the crime. All this happened in India- a land that prides itself on its customs and traditions. I hate to admit, but this is it: I am not proud to be an Indian. I am proud of my land, but not so proud of her people.

I wish to address to you a few more thoughts that have come across  to me, in my conversations with friends and kin.

1. This isn’t something new. It has been there since forever. The Bible talks of the rape of Tamar millenia ago. Today we talk of Nirbhaya, which paradoxically means- fearlessness. I will elaborate on the reasons for the choosing of this name later. When you are my age,  like how I spoke of Nirbhaya, you will talk of the rape of innocence.  It is a transgression for which I see no solution. It will be rampant until the return of Christ. Crime rates are increasing with population and frankly speaking, humankind has failed miserably at setting limits to itself. Each act of crime is increasingly perverse than the one before. I see a day when we will not call ourselves humans anymore for we have truly lost our humanity. It takes a calamity to make us human. It takes a torrent to make us take responsibility and act in urgency. We are a passive generation, and I am led to believe that your generation will be more passive than mine.

2. Parents need to take responsibility for the actions of their children. When I was a child, the first time I heard of pornography was in grade 6. I could hardly believe that such a thing as this existed. As I wrote in my other article, “I pursued Sodom’s sin”. I remember getting caught while watching some pornographic imagery.  As a child, I never got to watch a pornographic video. Images were the only thing that would come up on the screen as internet speeds had not yet reached the capability of handling a video. The rod was used in abundance after this incident and the computer was instantly moved to a location where parental eyes would pry. If not for the action of my parents, I would have continued to watch at convenience. I do not say I never watched pornography again. But rather that I had to struggle to find ways and this was more beneficial to me than unadulterated access to internet. My parents acted wisely and spoke to me about porn. They warned me on its consequences by not sparing the rod. Did it work? Maybe yes. Maybe no. But I knew it was wrong to be engaged in the act. Conscience. Sensitivity. That is what was preserved. Could they have done more? Absolutely yes. And hence, I will use the rod on you. Because I love you, I will discipline you. Your mother will talk to you on embarrassing subjects. You will have restrictions at home. You will not be able to date a boy unless I deem him worthy. You will try to be secretive. Ah! I wish you will understand my heart Hannah! That is what I wish to call you. I am not married yet. I have no idea who my wife will be, but this is what I wish to name you, if your mother would agree. And one day, when you are a parent, I pray you will take responsibility seriously and lovingly watch every move of your children. You may feel that it is an invasion of their privacy. It is an invasion of privacy.  As the Bible says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. But the rod of discipline will drive it far away”. Wisdom >  Privacy. The fear of the Lord is important. My generation has seen a steep rise in the comfort gospel of the grace dependent christian. Grace and discipleship cannot exist without being them together, hand in hand. And discipleship cannot come without discipline. As much as this would apply to your children, this would apply to you. If you are not walking the talk today, it is highly unlikely that you will ever be able to make your children listen to you. Children will respect you for your past. For your testimony. Talk is easy. Walk is tough, Make sure you have walked before you talked.

3. We live in a world of terrifyingly awful media: in continuation to point 2, I believe that media today does little to educate parents on effective parenting. In fact, it makes parenting extremely difficult. Suggestive advertising and movies that subscribe to yielding to temptation have risen. YouTube now airs soft porn. There is no control. All you need to do is sign up and create an account citing that you are 18 years old. How lame is that? I would not like to even write on how lame the Internet is on the lines of content access control. Such a terrible waste of time and mental resources. The media is filled with sex, because sex sells. Seldom have I watched television for one hour without coming across something I wish I did not see. Even print ads. The sale of a toilet seat requires a half naked woman to be placed alongside. We have thus become an apathetic generation. The objectification of women is something media seldom talks about. And when media talks about it, it is so hilariously hypocritical. Almost instantly, along with the discussion on objectification comes  the  ridiculously futile talk on tolerance and freedom of expression. It amazes me that we can justify things such as these. Again, it is something I really will not argue against, just because it is a terrible waste of precious time and mental capacities. It is nothing but a justification of stupidity. A vile, belligerent system of thought that encourages one to believe one’s own lies and desensitize the morals of the mind with justification by the much abused “freedom of expression”.

4. Your clothing is your responsibility: Dearest daughter, I cannot emphasize more: Your clothing is your greatest ally. It can also be your greatest enemy. There is so much talk today on “the freedom to wear whatever I please”. Yes. One day you will rebel against me and seek a life away from the clutches of your father’s discipline. Remember this: “At all times, dress like a queen”. It is mainstream to lower your standards to the clothing line of the world’s current fashion. My mother always said that the  decent women of my day dressed far worse than the whores of her day. I am not concerned on these matters for decency’s sake. It may be that you are as corrupt on the inside as you are pure on the outside. That is a concern, yes. But what is more of a concern for me is this: Men look at you. Heaven forbid, but I would not have you to be the next Nirbhaya. Nirbhaya had access to freedom like us all. Little has been said on how she used that freedom. Little is known. It would be unfair to her soul that I comment on her usage of freedom based on a few candid assumptions. Although she has been named Nirbhaya, it was only because she fought death and tried to live after the horrendous rape. I believe that you must be fearful. Very Very fearful. Men have eyes that lust. Many times, as I walked the roads of Bangalore, I looked at a few girls in itsy-bitsy clothing and lust flashed across my mind. I am a human, and it is purely God’s grace that I have a certain aspect of self control. However, there are few that have overcome their self control and hardened their hearts against common sense. There are also a few who are born into sin so deep that conscience has never existed to them. They will pounce on you like hungry lions and consume you. The cops are not everywhere. Daddy will not be there for you many times. And hence, it is important for you that you clothe yourself as a dignified woman. It will not remove the risk. It is just risk mitigation. I will allow you to define dignity as you please and let you set your own standards- maybe I will advice you on somethings. But when in doubt, we will look to your mother. I will ensure I marry someone who is dignified so you have an exemplary woman to look up to. If mother fails to impress you, look up to Proverbs 31. Read it, with your heart! Memorize it Hannah!

5. I love you a little too much. Dear daughter, you don’t even exist as an embryo yet ! However, I am praying for you as I am praying for a noble wife. It is my earnest prayer that you may find Christ while you are still young. Seek to impress Him. Seek His kingdom. I love you! I hope you understand that I am possessive of you and so is God. God and I want for you to be wise in all your ways : giving glory to God through your life. I pray that you find purpose early and pursue it.  This random scramble of thought is a by product of my fear for your life. One day, you will come into this world that I dread, at a time that is far worse than the day I am writing this. I will be there for you for as long as I live. We will have our disagreements. But I hope you understand. I love you already!  May the women of your generation look up to you for example and see Christ manifest in your walk and talk!

Much love my Hannah! I will call you by that name at least at home. If i am forced by your mother to christen you with some other name, then we have another story on our hands. I hope you will be good to your brother, Stephen! My imaginations run wild while I think of all these names I wish to give to my kids!

-Martin Chekuri, 10:38 AM, December the 23rd, 2015.

 

 

 

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